Are you receiving all of the love? Or is something getting in the way? Receiving messages of caring means the communication channels between the sender and the receiver are open. Many different people may be sending you love from partners to coworkers to those to whom you just offer a warm smile. The question is whether you receive all the love or if it falls on deaf ears. To fully receive the communication, there are five actions that markedly increase receptivity.
The first step is to give your attention to the other person so that you can be receptive. If your attention is elsewhere, it is valuable to speak up and share that. Otherwise the communication will be incomplete. Sometimes you may notice that a person’s attention is diverted. Other times the recipient may be deliberating. In either case, give your attention to those delivering warm messages to take in the caring words.
Learn the love languages as the second step. There are different ways of expressing love based on people’s innate personal preferences. Dr. Gary Chapman delineated the love languages as words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Whichever you give as a way of expressing love to another is your love language. Your preference may be different than your partner’s. When your language is different, consider translating into your partner’s language. You may think in words of affirmation. Those kind words may go right over the head of one who is looking for quality time. From the other side, take time to notice what your partner’s language is, for that is what that person will likely give and desire to receive in return. When you notice acts of service from one with that language, and you can then be more prepared to receive the acts of service with the intent that it is a love language. Discussing this will bring it out into the open for you to both be more agile in giving and receiving each other’s languages.
The third step is to let go of the urge to be right. If the choices are red and green, you may see green. Your partner may see red. It can be easy to hold tightly to what you see, thinking that you see it the “right” way. When you cling to your belief, it can lead to an impasse. If you will just allow the space for your partner to see red, it will be easier for the channel to remain open. The open channel allows the desired communication of your partner through. When you let go, it allows movement and flow. This is the time to remember what you would like—communication. It is beneficial to remember your desired outcome and let go of distractions that arise. Like being right.
Fourth, take accountability. You are responsible for your thoughts and actions. The opposite of accountability is blame and being the victim. That means you hold the other person at fault, which sets up an opposition of you against them. The intention is to have you on the same team when receiving love. Take control of your thoughts and actions and then express yourself in a way that is most likely to be heard.
The fifth action is to be unreasonable. Reasonableness is in your head. Emotion is in your heart. As TUT in Notes from the Universe says, “Being fair and reasonable will earn you respect and admiration, but being genuinely kind, will make you a total love magnet.” Kindness comes from the heart. When you would like to deliver a message from your heart, start from your heart. The heart is emotional. The head is rational and reasonable. Let go of reason and be unreasonable with all your heart.
To fully receive all of the love coming your way, do these five things. Give the person your attention. Learn the love languages to identify the love others send. Let go of being right. Take accountability. Be unreasonable. Then look forward to receiving the love people send your way!
©Caron MacLane 2012