Would you like to open your heart? Even more? People open their hearts to connect to themselves and to connect to others. Children, looking for connection, open their hearts more easily than adults. Most people like to connect, even though there are a small portion of people who prefer isolating themselves. Connection is the basis of most relationships, communities, and cultures. The quality of connection depends on the openness of your heart.
Yet many of us are afraid to open our hearts. Fearful people are more comfortable staying closed. They have developed the habit of closed hearts. They hide from the fear of opening their hearts. Hiding behaviors are common in our culture today and are evidenced in these ways:
- External numbing: People numb by filling up their environment with things like TV and video games.
- Internal numbing: People can become numb through overeating, caffeine, sugar, and drugs.
- Staying superficial: Staying superficial happens when people talk about things on the surface while they have deeper things that are really bothering them.
- Over scheduling: People often over schedule to avoid spending intimate time with themselves and others.
- Delusion: People can delude themselves by staying on the surface. They may justify that it is too difficult to talk about what is really bothering them, or they are unable to put it into words, or that it may be too scary to talk about it.
If you wish to connect, look to see that you are staying away from the obstacles listed and engage in the following:
Open up and be willing to feel rather than numbing yourself externally and/or internally. Start by just noticing what you feel in the moment. Feel the feeling. Allow the feeling to fill you.
Be willing to open to what you would really like to discuss. There may be something you are talking around and find it difficult to say. Check in with yourself to see what you would like to be conversing about and what is on your mind.
Make time for opening your heart with your self and with others. Share with others what you enjoy in your life. Especially what you brings you happiness right now. You could also express what you enjoy about them.
Be honest with yourself about being open. Check in with yourself to notice how you are being open. If in doubt, check with an honest friend as to how that person perceives you.
Take action. Consistently. Do something different to get different results. Test the waters and see what happens. If you like what happens, you may consider doing more of what you like. If you like it well enough, you may choose to make it a habit. To make it a habit, do what you like for 21 days in a row.
Commit to what you would like, if you would like to be more open, make a commitment to yourself and share your commitment with someone else. Commitment increases the chance of making it a reality consistently.
Start with opening your heart with yourself. See how your life changes. Open your heart for increased connection with yourself and others!
©Caron MacLane 2012